February 2012
When I’m at home and bored I download apps. Lots of apps. I then delete them a few days later when I realise they serve no real purpose to me but what I’m really trying to say here is I’m sitting in the tub with wicked cramps learning conversational German.
mohandasgandhi:
Look at all these foreigners taking our awards….
Never mind.
Calling it
Viola Davis.
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annahell replied to your post: ladyhazard replied to your post: ladyhazard…
LOL, look out because you’re walking right into the Danger Stone! (I happen to like estone, but I feel like she should never stop apologizing for being in The Help.
Lord help me I know. She’s one of those people who I can understand why people love her so much but for me it’s just eeeeh, sure. Okay.
...
Fuck Woody Allen
I’ve pounded back at least 2L of water in the last hour and the weirdest part is I don’t even have to pee.
If anything I could go for a poo right about now.
Proving once again that given the chance I can turn just about anything into a pile of shit.
Wait, so Flight of the Conchords guy has an Oscar?
BRB writing moderately amusing songs about dicks
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ladyhazard replied to your post: ladyhazard replied to your post: My secondhand…
you in danger girl
I KNOW, I KNOW! But I feel like there was just too much of her too fast.
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ladyhazard replied to your post: My secondhand embarrassment is OFF THE CHARTS right now
awww I thought she was cute?
Honestly, and I know I’m not with the majority here, but I am over that woman. Every time I see her I’m just like, “Okay, Emma Stone.”
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My secondhand embarrassment is OFF THE CHARTS...
And Chris Rock kills it
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Please let Goop get her period Please let Goop get her period Please let Goop get her period Please let Goop get her period Please let Goop get her period Please let Goop get her period
I could do that I just don't wanna.
Cirque DU Soleil. Not DE Soleil. DU DU DU.
Is this year's Oscar's theme "Racism"?
douglass-forgot-the-chitterlings:
throwing-milkshakes-at-cars:
ailanthusaltissima:
Or have I fallen into a worm hole?
Honest to fucking god.
But like you said earlier, the real problem here is M.I.A. flipping America the bird. Not Billy Crystal in black face, or every “news” organization trying to decipher “what drove Viola Davis to remove her wig? What political statement is she...
Is this year's Oscar's theme "Racism"?
ailanthusaltissima:
Or have I fallen into a worm hole?
Honest to fucking god.
“The only thing that would make The Oscars okay is if Sammy Davis Jr came back...”
– My friend Ann, on Facebook. (via seekwill)
“Oh look, it’s like someone left a Maxim magazine from 2005 laying out.”
– The boyfriend on Cameron Diaz and J-Lo.
Did Billy Crystal just do fucking Blackface?!
GOD! He really DOES have to narrate fucking...
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Every time someone says they’re having a Liz Lemon moment or they’re so Liz Lemon or something they did or said was classic Liz Lemon I want to squirt citric acid in their eye.
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Him: This woman just said Kristen Wiig was 'too casual'. What? Fuck her, this bitch looks like a hairball. 'Who are you wearing?' 'Oh, I don't know, just some cat puke.' Fucking bitch.
Emma Stone, Nicole Kidman called and she wants her...
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Michelle Williams you are not a child. Stop dressing like one.
But for real, thank you from bringing Reno 911 to the Oscars.
Watching the Red Carpet
Kelly Osborne:
Why?
The hair, the dress, the fact that someone gave her a microphone and I’m looking at her.
Just… why?
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annahell replied to your post: Q: What do you do when your neighbours won’t STFU
How about standing outside their window with your face pressed up to the glass while screaming, “I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU” over and over again.
Everything is perfect.
Q: What do you do when your neighbours won't STFU
A: Roll some tin foil into a ball and whip it down the hall for your cat. Repeat until cat pukes.
Other possible options include:
sneaking into their apartment and flushing an entire bucket of clumping cat litter down the toilet
jimmying the lock on their back door and training the neighbourhood raccoons to operate the handle
setting yourself on fire and bursting through their door to give...
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Him: My parents want to go to lunch around 4:30. Everyone wants to go to Lonestar.
Me:
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Woman: Can I have birth control?
Republicans: No.
Woman: I got pregnant because I didn't have birth control and I don't want the fetus. Can I have an abortion?
Republicans: No.
Woman: I gave birth to my child but since I wasn't expecting it, I can't afford daycare. Can I have help paying for it?
Republicans: No.
Sometimes I feel like making passive aggressive posts based on the asinine, childish, LOOK AT MEEE shit I see on my dash.
But I don’t.
Except for now.
Which doesn’t count.
Bunny.
A real friend...
Is someone who will clean up your cat’s puke while you take a leak.
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nesbittslimesoda replied to your post: Yo I’mma let you finish but your…
NO! DON’T LET THEM FINISH! THE FACT THAT THEY’RE JERKIN’ IT TO THAT IN THE FIRST PLACE IS PART OF THE PROBLEM!
HA! But yeah, this.
In the last couple days I’ve seen at least three big-breasted, broken spine Princess tattoos come by my dash and every time I’m just like, “Nah. You are so fucking...
Yo I’mma let you finish but your hypersexualization of Disney Princesses is disturbing as fuck.
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bohemian slapfight: Why are people so obsessed... →
douglass-forgot-the-chitterlings:
kanikkers:
throwing-milkshakes-at-cars:
kanikkers:
douglass-forgot-the-chitterlings:
Are you really that bored that you must create shit to help you be offended by proxy?
If you’re not black, you’re just not black. If you would like to be offended on our behalf, don’t. Just you know, tell racist white folks to shut up, cause they’re gonna…
to...
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bohemian slapfight: Why are people so obsessed... →
kanikkers:
douglass-forgot-the-chitterlings:
Are you really that bored that you must create shit to help you be offended by proxy?
If you’re not black, you’re just not black. If you would like to be offended on our behalf, don’t. Just you know, tell racist white folks to shut up, cause they’re gonna…
to completely and solely play devil’s advocate here (not trying to start a fight, just...
Actually...
No.
You get out. You go live in space, transabled, transracial, and transalbinosquirrel people.
I’ll stay on earth with TV and nachos and mylar balloons filled with helium.
Why are people so obsessed with being something...
douglass-forgot-the-chitterlings:
Are you really that bored that you must create shit to help you be offended by proxy?
If you’re not black, you’re just not black. If you would like to be offended on our behalf, don’t. Just you know, tell racist white folks to shut up, cause they’re gonna feel “safer” listening to you anyway (eye roll). But for real, make them shut up.
So sorry you’re...
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elle-oh-elle replied to your post: 10-15cm of snow, you say? No no, it’s just going…
what the fuck are centimeters
They’re part of our fascist Canadian measurement system that exists only to exclude Americans.
MILK COMES IN BAGS! HARVEY’S MAKES YOUR HAMBURGER A BEAUTIFUL THING! TIM HORTON’S ISN’T REALLY A CAFE AND BAKE SHOP!
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presented to you without comment
annahell replied to your post: Dead celebrities I’d like to see people finally get over:
Or can we at least all agree to treat her like any other famous dead person and stop fetishizing and mythologizing and pretending to be endlessly fascinated by her? I was going to write a longer post about this, but see also Star Wars.